So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
