I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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