What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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