He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
