My pussy is not your playground.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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