Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
