I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
