pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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