I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
