k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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