do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize