I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
is that a dick in a sweater?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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