K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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