Do you still have your period?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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