I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
