cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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