And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
