Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
