my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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