happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
