my mouth tastes like poor choices
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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