Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
