Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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