nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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