Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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