What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
