sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
