Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
