apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
