TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
