just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
