i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
