You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize