I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
