And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
