I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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