Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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