and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
