Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
