Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just cropdusted the office
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
