Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My bed smells like the plague
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
