the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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