At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
