when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
