I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
