Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
