I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
