jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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