i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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