It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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