Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
