So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
