She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
