But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
