She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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