When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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