Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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