He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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