I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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