I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
