thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
