What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
In America we eat man semen.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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